This morning, I vacillated between my now-usual routine of working through the Radical Self-Acceptance daily (journal) book and jumping out of my car to begin my busy day at work. I had a couple important experiments planned among other tasks to get through by the end of the day and I was already feeling tired so I was tempted to try going into lab right away. That said, I am so thankful that I took the time to work on myself first this morning before I went into lab. It only took me about five minutes to get through today’s journal entry, but the energy I had from that extra five minutes of me time carried me through my tough day, with smiles and laughter as a bonus. I have felt amazing today…very happy and calm and optimistic/enthusiastic for my future while enjoying the present moment. I cannot attribute all of these positive feelings to that single journal entry, but that entry is part of the process of getting in touch with myself and my needs on my way towards living a more authentic life (true to my values) and the process is definitely working for me. I feel so much love for my life, which is tough to say in the context of tough current events like the government shutdown, and yet, I want to scream from the top of my lungs that I have so much love and happiness in my life right now.
On a side note, I accidentally left my phone at home today. I felt so free without the constant barrage of e-mail alerts and my need to look up random questions online as they pop into my head (often totally unrelated to my actual work). I was not entirely disconnected because I still had my laptop, but as I walked around in lab (away from my laptop) or even took breaks to grab a snack or drink, I was no longer focusing on what my phone had in store. I looked at and enjoyed the world immediately around me instead. It definitely saved time for me to not have the access to a round or so of Candy Crush or Plants v. Zombies; I enjoy both and the instant rewards they have to offer very much, but even if I take a much needed break in the middle of the day to crush some candies or attack some zombies, I feel guilty. That whole reducing guilt for benign activities is something I still need to work on, but in the meantime, it felt good to be free from the guilt, as I was free from my “guilt-provoking” phone apps. I still plan to take my phone to work (when I remember it, which is usually every day), but I think I should give myself moments during the day to be free from it by stowing it away in my desk for an hour or two at a time. That said, I was not completely free from distraction. I was luckily saved by the old iPod nano I had stored in my computer bag from years ago. It was fun hearing my old music!
I’m still feeling high on life and hope for some more of the same in the future!!!