One of my first blog entries described the awesomeness of the eating disorder recovery app, Recovery Record. I still think the app has some wonderful features, but I’m definitely sick of it! I no longer want to log every single meal. Sometimes I don’t have my phone with me when I’m eating. Sometimes I’m enjoying my mealtime experience too much to want to grab my phone right away. Sometimes I just had the same breakfast I have been eating all week and it seems redundant to log it again. Usually, I just forget. Then, I get to play the not-so-fun game of catch-up, by either logging most meals from the day right before I go to bed or, if I forget to log them that night, backfilling them. Of course, Recovery Record has the snide little comment that backfilling meals is not a good idea. If my nutritionist needs to see what I’m eating, backfilling is better than nothing. I guess that’s a little bit of me being angry. Yes, I agree that I would rather not backfill meals, but if I’m going to backfill them anyway, I don’t need to see that guilt-provoking little message. (Yes, I still need to work on my guilt complex, as mentioned in previous entries.) And still, even as I write this, I remember I already forgot to log my breakfast, morning snack, and lunch for today.
I guess what I mean with this entry is that not all of my recovery tools seem worthwhile all of the time. Sometimes I want a break from them. And maybe that’s ok.