Last night, I watched videos of my West Coast Swing dancing from this past weekend and my body image definitely improved when I saw how well I am now able to move my new, fuller body. Yes, I am larger than I was before treatment, but I am finally appreciating my body as an enabler for activity instead of a prison. In full disclosure, I still do not necessarily like the way that I look when I am standing still. However, the graceful, flowing movements that my body allows me to execute when I am dancing are fun to watch.
First, I do not look nearly as large as I often think that I am. Thus, I definitely still suffer from a mismatch between my real-time perceptions and the reality.
Second, I finally look confident and grounded. I compared this weekend’s dancing with videos of myself from before I entered treatment and the thinner me looks fragile, willowy, and airy, which is the opposite of the desired West Coast Swing technique.
I am grateful for my new dance confidence and my progress towards body acceptance.